Ways You Sabotage Your Own Happiness


Diverse children laughing on a bench

Happiness is more than just feeling good. There’s actually a wide range of benefits of being happy. These benefits include making us healthier, strengthening relationships, and increasing productivity. Be-ing happy also encourages us to make more positive contributions to society.

Simply put, happiness is really important if you want to have a successful life.But, what’s preventing you from staying happy on a daily basis?

Here are the common culprits that are blocking your happiness:

1.Self-defeating self-talk

What is self-talk? as we go about our daily lives, we constantly think about and interpret the situations we find ourselves in. It is like we have an internal voice that determines how we perceive every situation. We call this inner voice our “self-talk,” and it includes our conscious thoughts, as well as our unconscious assumptions and beliefs.much of our self-talk is reasonable, for example: “I’d better prepare for that exam,” or ”I’m really looking forward to that game.” But sometimes our self-talk is negative, unrealistic or self-defeating. For example, “I’m going to fail for sure,” or ”I didn’t play well. I’m hopeless.”

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk often causes us to feel bad, and can make us feel hurt, angry, frustrated, depressed or anxious. It can also make us behave in a self-defeating way. For instance, thoughts like ”I’m going to fail for sure” might discourage you from working hard when you are preparing for your exams, and you might actually fail as a result.

StepstoInstantly Connect More Deeply with Anyone and EveryoneConnection with other people is one of the most important aspects of life, but when you’re not connecting, it can be hard to figure out what’s going wrong. Whether it’s with friends, family members, co-workers.

2. Avoiding deeply meaningful connections.

Connection with other people is one of the most important aspects of life, but when you’re not connecting, it can be hard to figure out what’s going wrong. Whether it’s with friends, family members, co-workers, or kids.

Being lonely serves no one. Loneliness is correlated with poorer mental health, increased health issues, decreased immunity, and even early mortality. The World Health Organization has declared lonelyness a public health concern.

3. Comparing yourself to others.

While comparing yourself to others is normal -- we’ve all been doing it since we were kids - it’s a waste of time, energy. As Mark Twain said, “comparison is the death of joy.”

If you took the strengths of others, and compared them to your weaknesses, how do you think you’d size up? And do you think this would make you feel good?

The funny thing is, this is what most of us do at one time or another — and some of us do pretty often.

It’s a sure-fire recipe for a drop in self-confidence and for unhappiness. It’s also not that useful.

4. Lack of gratitude.

It’s common for us to become fixated on what we don’t have. We don't slow down to take stock of what we do have. Pause and appreciate everything that you’re thankful for. I do this by writing what I’m grateful for every evening. But, don’t just take my word for it. It’s a powerful trick that has also been employed by Oprah, Tony Robbins and Tim Ferriss.

Gratitude is an emotion similar to appreciation, and Chabbysallacess research has found neurological reasons why so many people can benefit from this general practice of expressing thanks for our lives, even in times of challenge and change.

gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

5. Fear

“Fear has great power in our lives. Thank God it does, keeping us from doing things that could hurt us. One such hurt is like taking unnecessary and dangerous drugs,” writes William Anderson, MA, LMHC. “However, it is a terrible problem if it is keeping you from making your life better

Fear is a human emotion that is triggered by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism that signals our bodies to respond to danger with a fight or flight response. As such, it is an essential part of keeping us safe.

However, when people live in constant fear, whether from physical dangers in their environment or threats they perceive, they can become incapacitate.

When you let your thoughts, feelings and decisions be driven by fear, you are reduced to a slave of fear. I have come across people whose lives are very centered on the theme of fear and it is a very disempowering state to be in. Their fear drives their thoughts, feelings, decisions and behaviors so much that their life has become a byproduct of fear, rather than their own desires. For example, someone who is scared of changes will become scared whenever there are changes in his/her life. He/she will scramble to maintain the status quo and protect the illusion of safety. He/she lives in reaction to fear, rather than proactively lead his/her life. As long as we’re just reacting to fear, we can’t be reaching our fullest potential.

N.B When comes to your happiness, you’re the boss. That means that it’s your responsibility to eliminate the elements in your life that are reducing your happiness. Challenge those fears, and kick them to the curb.

Once you do you can start living a better, and more importantly, happy life personally and professionally.



  1. A very well written blog. Thanks for your insight. It's really helpful.

  2. आपका ब्लॉग बहुत ही फायदेमंद है,
    आप ऐसे ही ब्लॉग लिखते रहिए,
    अगर आपको आध्यात्मिक और Motivation ब्लॉग के बारे मै जानकारी चाहिए तो आप मेरे ब्लॉग पर आ सकते हैं।

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  3. Nicely written. Keep up the good work!! ✨

  4. Nice work dear, very informative

  5. A post with nice pointers to be followed in daily life. Thanks for sharing.

  6. I know what keeps me unhappy but I dont do anything to keep it away from myself

    1. Stay close with us we will let you know about that

  7. Great pointers and an important post in todays time. Thanks for Sharing.

  8. Wow amazing. Love how you layered these simple yet difficult things that we do, even without notice.


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